Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

"Just Add Drama?"

"Just Add Drama?"
If someone placed a button in the middle of an empty room marked “Just Add Drama” how many of you, without a second thought would press the button accordingly? There’s nothing better than a good ole “You’ll never believe what happened to me or a woe is me” situation just ripe for brewing a big pot of attention generating drama to get the blood pumping, right? The truth is, some of you strive so much for attention that you’re waiting for the chance to stir up a little conflict or tragedy in your lives for the opportunity to take center stage but, why? What is the benefit of creating conflict, sowing discord, and/or all out chaos?  For some, the attention getting stakes are as high as being the star of your very own dramatic real life soap opera tends to have addictive secondary benefits. What I've observed over the years in the field of crisis navigation is that many of my clients were walking around doing just that . . . Looking for opportunities to “insert drama” into their lives and the lives of others while over compensating for some lack or another.
Nevertheless, this dysfunction is not only limited to the individual’s personal affairs, yet it tends to finds its way into the workplace environment, and/or other social interactions this individuals may partake in as well. At first, it appears this individual is simply having a sour run of fortune until you realize there is potentially more at the root of their troubles; something deeper and even more disturbing than a run of bad luck. But then, what is the motivation behind this unstable lifestyle filled with epic drama? What I've witnessed is that there are 5 common benefits to just adding drama into their lives. Those 5 things are:
1.      Drama distracts from the current life situation or circumstances. Instead of concentrating on or dealing with one’s own life matters it’s easier to place the focus outward as to become distracted from acknowledging or resolving problems of which may make them uncomfortable or, are perceived as outside of the person’s control. This person’s primary efforts are to divert from what is happening around them.
2.      It creates an exaggerated sense of importance. This individual is self-absorbed and seeks to be center focus of the drama of which they have purposely created in the attempt to magnify feelings of significance and the reassurance of worth; while hoping to decrease feelings of insecurity and inadequacy with unnecessary attention-seeking behavior.
3.      Drama is familiar and comfortable. To this individual, drama and constant disruption is the norm. In a sense, being surrounded by misery and commotion are their standard of living whereby, this individual finds contentment and safety. Often times, this individual has spent a large portion of their life “not getting enough attention (most times during childhood)” from persons of significance their lives. This type of behavior has usually been exampled throughout their life in some form or another which this person has now taken on as a practice.
4.      To play the victim. Usually this individual creates drama in order to play the victim of its fallout. This often makes them the recipient of sympathy, compassion, or empathy from others with little accountability for their manipulative actions. It’s all in line with needing to be at the center of attention by any means necessary. This individual is prone to inappropriate behavior, lying, exaggerated poor health or other circumstances, complaining of frequent death (or near death) in their family or the families of close friends, and/or any problem that will place them in the position of receiving victim treatment.
5.      Overconfident or Arrogant (the bully). This person believes that they are over deserving (operates with a sense of entitlement) in most (if not all) aspects of their life. This person wants to be seen. If they are not center stage at all times they will design occasions to be front and center even if it requires them to be dishonest to obtain the attention they believe they deserve. This person is not above using bullying tactics to gain the attention as well.

Do you see yourself in any of these personality types? If so, change is in order and that change begins with learning to love yourself exactly as you are as well as forgiving yourself and others for not giving you the attention you required during whatever period of your life where you've felt neglected. Next, ask yourself is your interpretation of events over the top and/or are you creating an exaggerated account of the events. If the answer is yes, you may need to re-calibrate your perception.  
And lastly, reach out to others for help (e.g. Family, friends, or licensed professionals). What may need to happen is that you connect with someone who is equipped with the skills and knowledge to assist you with working through your problems in a way that supports healthy and more stable responses. Living a “Just Add Drama” lifestyle is an exhausting recipe for sure disaster of epic proportion. Remember, no emotionally healthy individual is walking around designing a life filled with discontent on purpose, or for no apparent reason. Being fully aware of your needs and what it takes to get them constructively and appropriately met is the key to regaining the balance of a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.  Are you creating drama while chasing some sort of secondary gain from that kind of mayhem? Are you even aware that you’re the one stirring the pot?

Taking a hard look inside of yourself may be just what you need to put your attention seeking inner child to rest. Live aware! Good journey! ~ Y. Tay Robson (L.I.F.E with Purpose)













Click the link but, be prepared for anything! https://youtu.be/scvt1Nucoh8 

2 comments:

PardonMyPhresh82 said...

This was great educational read. I can honestly say that I've used a couple of those tactics a time or 2 in my life... But this in its entirety allows me to be much more aware when it comes to communicating with others. Thank you for such a great eye opener!

Anonymous said...

This made a lot of sense to me! Thank you!