Best Piece of Advice #13

Money Matters When, Your Money Matters!!

Times are hard for everyone as of late; the economy is still out of whack and the recession a very real state of affairs in our society. Making your money stretch and a dollar go farther than the floor board of your car can be mission impossible at times. When it comes to money, I am a money managing wiz!! I believe it to be one of my Gods given gifts, literally! Here are my 8 tips on how to stretch your dollars and still live a full social life at the same time.

Tip #1: PAY ALL OF YOUR MONTHLY BILLS 1st! Before doing anything else, if you have a job which allows you to pay your priority bills (water, car insurance, electric bill, life insurance, cell phone, etc.) do it!! Paying these bills first permits you to get them out of the way and the rest of the money can become "play" money. Never assume you can pay it later, its best to get priority bills taken care of on or before the due date. This tends to build credit and can sometimes grant you grace in the future if ever you're late paying later on down the line. Always take care of your needs before you indulge in your wants. This way when you go to spend money on hair, nails, clothes, or social outings, etc., you know home is in order because you already took care of the big stuff!!

Tip #2: By All Means Save A Dollar!! Even the smallest budget when examined has potential for saving. If you’re only able to put away $10 to $20 a pay check, DO IT!! You'll be surprised how quickly it’ll add up! Think about it, how often do you go out blow $10 or $20 and can't remember where you spent it? If you're like me, it can happen a lot! Instead of wasting money which you may need for a rainy day; save it to buy an umbrella that rainy day instead? You'll find your savings adds up fast and you’ve saved some serious cash before long.

Tip #3: ANYTHING ON SALE IS WORTH HAVING!! I love a sale! It’s the perfect opportunity to stretch those short dollars to more than just gum. If you're a shopaholic such as me, you know our eyes can be our worst enemies?! We tend to go to a store and want the first thing we see which appeals to us in our mind's eye. Instead of shopping off the rack, head for the clearance racks first. A lot of times you will see something hanging in the window for full price however, if you head over to the clearance spot you may find its cousin hanging around for much less!! I say, NEVER PAY full price for something when you can pay less and use your imagination at the same time. Be creative. The clearance rack is a great opportunity to get more for your money. You may not only find what you’re looking for, for cheap you may have the money left over to get into an event to show it off later!!

Tip #4: ANYTHING DOLLAR TREE!!  Dollar stores are a God send in these financially binding times. A dollar can sometimes be stretched as far as you need it to be when you respect and use it correctly. I love Dollar Tree! With $1 you can purchase almost anything!! Dollar Tree sells food, hygiene products, baby clothes, car maintenance items, party supplies, seasonal items, back to school and office supplies, household clean supplies, home decorating items, and much, much more!! If you find yourself having to stretch your dollars, head on over to Dollar Tree, you'll get more than you bargained for in the end!!

Tip #5: The More the Merrier: Go out as a group instead of alone, this way thing can be split between the group and all the financial whoa doesn't fall on you! If there are 4 of you the tab can be split 4 ways instead of one which breaks the bank! Not to mention, it gets you out of the house and socializing with friends and meeting new people. You'll save money and have a memory to reflect on in your down time.

Tip #6: Clip, Clip, Clip Coupons: I know it sounds a bit ole fashion however; clipping coupons is still the best way to save money! Not only will this save you money like nobody’s business it will also keep you on top of the changing prices of those things you can't live without! I tell you this is an excellent way to save money and get some of those name brand things you want as well.

Tip #7: My Bad Habits: For those of you with bad habits (of which I by no means support!) such as smoking or casual drinking, buy in bulk!! If you’re a smoker (YUCK!) buy a carton instead of a single pack, you'll find it costs far less throughout the month and leaves you with a little cash left over. Try tallying up what you spend on a pack every time you buy it and compare it against what you would spend and save if you purchase the carton instead. You'll see the benefit to buying in bulk and you'll have more money to add to your savings account as well.

Tip #8: Whew, I Made It!: Working with low income families I’ve learned that most crisis happen within $1000 therefore, this is your initial savings goal. Once you’ve made it to $1000.00 in your savings account, try to maintain it and KEEP GOING!! It’s far better to have more than to have less and it gives you a sense of accomplishment while you watch your money grow. There you have it, my 8 tips to surviving our society’s money matters for a time. If you follow these few simple tips balancing your budget should no longer feel like you’re standing on a high wire in the middle of the circus; but, leave you feeling like the ring leader man in control of all the acts!! Good journey!! 

Best Piece of Advice #12

Just Because You’re Talking, Doesn’t Mean You’re Speaking the Same Language!!

I’m sure it comes of no surprise when I say, communication is key, right? Of course not, we’re given this piece of advice all the time where relationships are concerned. Though common knowledge too many, this can be an ill mastered art for others. What do I mean when I say just because you’re talking it doesn’t mean you’re speaking the same language? I mean just that!! Have you ever sat with someone (a spouse, partner, mate, friend, booty call, etc.) seemingly having the same conversation only to realize when it’s over you have no idea what the two of you were talking about? I’m sure you have.

How does this happen? Easy, at some point the message got jumbled or distorted and though you were speaking English, the other person heard French. In any relationship you have to learn to speak a person’s language in order to effectively communicate your message to that person, which is what brings me to the question; what language is your partner speaking? I read a wonderful book outlining the 5 love languages we all tend to speak in some form or another and why it’s so important to learn your own love language and that of the person you are in relationship with at the time.  According to Gary Chapman’s book ‘The 5 Love Languages’ they are: 1. Words of Affirmation, 2. Quality Time, 3. Receiving Gifts, 4. Acts of Service, and 5. Physical Touch. Each love language is descriptively outlined in this wonderfully written book for married couples however, an excellent tool for single folks as well!

Discovering yours and your partners love language gives you a greater understanding of how that person views and accepts love in a relationship. We can talk to someone all day long, if they can’t understand our message, the language we are speaking in or, the purpose of our communication (conveying love and affection) becomes useless or an argument at worst. Each language has its own very unique set of identifying qualities and wonderful rewards when you can speak them fluently. Though this piece at first glance may sound like a book review it is ONE OF THE BEST PIECES OF ADVICE I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE TO RECEIVE! Removing communication barriers from any relationship is a definite plus!

Nevertheless, understanding someone’s response to your communication is even better! Check this book out and gain more than just a better way to communicate; furthering the knowledge of who you are and what language you speak in is priceless. Not to mention, understanding your partner better costs far less than paying to learn to speak French. Good journey!! 

Best Piece of Advice #11

Unfortunately, this can be all to true when dealing with others whom have experienced past hurts, betrayals, disappointments, etc. When someone is unwilling to seek help, or unaware they need it; past hurts can seriously impact present and/or future situations and relationships (personal and professional). No doubt, we’ve all experienced hurts throughout our lives in many forms and in different circumstances. Bad relationships of any kind and misuse of our trust have become common place in our society. However, it is those of us which choose to ignore the scars or results of those troubles which most often go on to continue a viscous cycle of hurting others because of it. Being aware of your unhealed emotional, mental, and/or spiritual scars is a crucial step to moving forward and providing the footing for healing. 

If you find yourself dwelling on past troubles, reliving old hurts, mistreating others, struggling to trust, or afraid to take risks based on previous experiences the chances are you’ve not healed from preceding life happenings.  Whether it is intentional or unintentional . . . hurt people, hurt people.  It has become more and more prevalent in society; the results of undiagnosed/untreated pain and its mutilations. Don’t become a part of the problem when the solution is simple . . . self-care.  So how does one obtain self-care? By first recognizing there may be a problem, connecting to a support group of people whom have successfully lived through similar experiences, or reaching out to locate a counselor to discuss emotional or mental concerns, or by bonding with those in whatever your faith system offers in the way of healing.

The goal is to become whole again and end the painful rotation of unhealed sorrows. Taking the time to rebuild oneself through accessing healthy means of expression can only result in the transition from a stuck place to one of unstuck and regaining one’s functionality.  Not to mention, regaining a healthy outlook in emotional/mental areas of your life ultimately can help to end repetitive cycles thus improving one’s life overall. The reality is no one really wants to be the bad guy or the person accused of hurting another human being they care for . . . if you do, that’s quite another kettle of fish in it of itself. 

Living a life filled with joy and purpose doesn’t have to be difficult as long as we are willing to do the hard work of self-improvement on a regular basis. I am aware this can be easier said than done; however, a journey begins with a single step. Why not make yours towards restorative progress and life enhancement . . . shall we? 

Best Piece of Advice #10

WARNING: Stop Eating Turkey Sandwiches!!

Ladies, this one is for you! Ever gone out on a date with the guy of your dreams and before the dessert course, he's a total nightmare? At what point during the experience do you say "Check please?!" The undying quest to find Mr. Right begins with one step; learning to identify Mr. Wrong! So often we meet guys who tell us up front they are not the "one" only to ignore it in hopes he doesn't know himself as well as he thinks does. INCORRECT! 

The guy telling you he’s not ready to be in a relationship know best and you should heed the warning. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship which may ultimately lead to the union of marriage, you have to stop investing your time, efforts and energy into dating jive turkeys. The guy looking for a “good time” is rarely ever looking for a commitment at that moment and knows exactly what he wants. So, how do you avoid wasting your time with Mr. Wrong and spend more valuable time with Mr. Right? By KNOWING WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT!! Before you begin dating you need to become acquainted with yourself. 

Sit down and write out your realistic list of what you're looking for in a mate and what you have to offer a potential partner.  By doing so, you will become familiar with yourself and what needs; you need met by your intended mate. If you are a procrastinator, finding a partner that likes things done promptly, on time and has to motivate you in order to get them done; will be short lived before that person becomes tired of the job. Compatibility is KEY! It is best to have as much commonality with your potential partner as possible in order for you to work towards success!! Never look for someone with traits so far outside of your own the two of you struggle every time you are together.  Folks, if you like lounging on the couch the entire weekend watching TV, ordering dinner in, find a guy that likes laid back weekends as much as you do. 

This way, you know he’s comfortable with the way the two of you spend your leisure time on your days off. If you want someone attentive, affirming, smart, loving, and kind. Dating the guy that is rude, insensitive, and ill-mannered is probably a huge mistake? Know what you want and be firm in it! Next, know your deal breakers. If you don’t want to date a guy which smokes, drinks heavily, is foul mouthed, and likes to party all night long, DON’T!! By bending the rules of what you want you ultimately get what you don’t! 

Truth is, if you never say to someone “I really don’t like that.” What you are saying is “I like you just the way you are.” If you are straight forward and honest with someone the first time, you can avoid the clean up later on down the line. Say what you mean, and mean what you say in order to obtain good results. Furthermore, don’t expect perfection! No one is perfect. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! 

Let’s try not to be so quick to harp on those petty imperfections your guy might have if overall he’s great! We all have little absurdity which can drive a partner crazy! The objective is to find compatible ones the two of you can live with. And last but not least (and you’ll all hate me for this one!), STOP TALKING TO YOUR SINGLE GIRLFRIENDS ABOUT HOW TO GET A MAN!! 

If she’s ALWAYS available to talk with you about the search for Mr. Right, the chances are her techniques don’t work any better than yours do!! Talk to your friends which have snagged Mr. Wonderful and ask them how they did it. They may have information, methods, or insights you’ve somehow over looked which may be worth investigating. Remember, to be a success you have to see a success? Very true even in the case of dating as well. 

If you follow these few simple practices, you shouldn’t be dating too long either. By making these few easy changes to your dating routine, you will be well on your way to dining with Mr. Right and not sitting across the table from a jive turkey sandwich! Good journey!!

Best Piece of Advice #9

What is a Dream to YOU May Be a Nightmare to Someone Else!!

When in hot pursuit of your dreams others negative opinions and feedback can be the car in front of you which is completely stopped at a green light. It has been said, one of the most frustrating things is, to have a big idea and no one to tell you it’s good.

The expectation that EVERYONE is going to love your great idea is a quantum leap to believing all children will eat their asparagus at dinner!! NO ONE loves everything! It is unrealistic to assume your dream will be just as important and exciting to everyone else as it is to you. Bear in mind, others may not share your creative passions or visions however, create anyway. 

The objective is to complete your goal first (staying connected to those which support and motivate you during the process) then share it with everyone else!! If no one loves it as much as you do, that’s okay!! Most dreamers find themselves in dream land alone until the finished product is complete and ready to shine!! Do not become discouraged right out of the gate because someone tells you “I don’t get it?” Find your sustenance, people who support you no matter what your venture and lean on them to keep your ambitions in high gear. The goal is to finish what you start and be happy with the results.

The others will come around once they have seen what you’ve done they’ll appreciate your hard work!! I’m sure there was no great idea celebration thrown for Thomas Edison when folks heard he was working on the light bulb or, Benjamin Franklin when he talked about conducting electricity. Your dream is just that, YOUR dream! Stand behind it and work until its completion; the rest of the world will rally once you’ve discovered the next best thing!! Keep reaching! Good journey!!  

Best Piece of Advice #8

It’s Called a Breakup Because Its Broken!!

By the time someone tells you this it’s obvious the relationship has been over and you haven't figured it out yet?! Separating from a partner, spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend is difficult within itself without the pain of putting yourself through the heartache and embarrassment of holding on to something which is no longer holding on to you. A breakup is a loss like anything else which has stages in the healing process.  You are required to grieve, mourn, and ultimately come to terms with what has happened before you can heal. If you hold on to the past relationship (i.e., phone calls, "chance meetings," asking friends to share details regarding the other's life, who their dating, and their whereabouts, etc.) it merely prolongs the healing process! Constantly reaching out to your ex who rejects your every advance will only keep you at stage 1 of healing reopen the wounds every time your attempts to reconnect are rejected.

If you’re hoping to establish a friendship with your ex, then only time and space can determine if it’s attainable or worth it in the end. Remember, the two of you didn’t breakup because things were great, you break up because one of you felt it was necessary to do so. Ever thought a break could be exactly what you need to become reacquainted with yourself? Many times, we tend to lose ourselves in relationships; trading in our identity for the one that best fits with our partner at the time. In most instances, separating from a partner sparks something in you that drive you to change! The objective is to be sure the change is a good one!!

You’re opportunity for self-discovery has revealed itself to you and now, there’s nothing standing in your way. Trust, this too shall pass . . . really. You just have to P.U.S.H, pray until something happens!! You will heal, branch out, and make new connects eventually; you simply have to trust the process. And, if all else fails you can always get a puppy that will love you no matter what, wagging tail and all!