Have
you ever set a boundary only to have someone cross it? Ever drawn a line in the
sand to have someone come along and erase it with their foot? You may want to re-evaluate how you are
presenting your boundaries. If you are serious, firm, clear, and 100% committed
to that thing which has become a boundary in your eyes; making sure others are
aware of this is essential!! You have to stand behind the boundary you've set
without teetering one way or the other when it’s tested. Example: A
child asks a parent for a cookie, the parent says "No. After
you've had a nap” however, the child (boundary: parent wants the respect of
following word and instruction from the child) decides to take the cookie
anyway.
When the parent finds out the
child did not follow instruction; instead of reinforcing the boundary which was
crossed (not accepting parent’s initial response for the child's request)
parent says nothing and the child eats the cookie. Do you think the next
time the child asks for something and the authority figure says no he
or she will go with be accepting of the answer? Probably not; when you are
up front and firm about your boundaries the chances are people are less likely
to cross them. So, be respectful, fixed, confident, and upfront about
things you feel compromise you at your core (which is where our boundaries are
formed) so others will know where they stand with you at all times. This
makes for more enjoyable social interactions and personal/professional
relationship in the future!!
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