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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Best Piece of Advice #3




Have you ever set a boundary only to have someone cross it? Ever drawn a line in the sand to have someone come along and erase it with their foot? You may want to re-evaluate how you are presenting your boundaries. If you are serious, firm, clear, and 100% committed to that thing which has become a boundary in your eyes; making sure others are aware of this is essential!! You have to stand behind the boundary you've set without teetering one way or the other when it’s tested.  Example: A child asks a parent for a cookie, the parent says "No. After you've had a nap” however, the child (boundary: parent wants the respect of following word and instruction from the child) decides to take the cookie anyway. 

When the parent finds out the child did not follow instruction; instead of reinforcing the boundary which was crossed (not accepting parent’s initial response for the child's request) parent says nothing and the child eats the cookie. Do you think the next time the child asks for something and the authority figure says no he or she will go with be accepting of the answer? Probably not; when you are up front and firm about your boundaries the chances are people are less likely to cross them. So, be respectful, fixed, confident, and upfront about things you feel compromise you at your core (which is where our boundaries are formed) so others will know where they stand with you at all times. This makes for more enjoyable social interactions and personal/professional relationship in the future!!

Knowing and setting clear and respectable boundaries will empower you and build your self-confidence in the knowledge that you know what's best for you! Good journey!! 

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