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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Best Piece of Advice #8



It’s Called a Breakup Because Its Broken!!

By the time someone tells you this it’s obvious the relationship has been over and you haven't figured it out yet?! Separating from a partner, spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend is difficult within itself without the pain of putting yourself through the heartache and embarrassment of holding on to something which is no longer holding on to you. A breakup is a loss like anything else which has stages in the healing process.  You are required to grieve, mourn, and ultimately come to terms with what has happened before you can heal. If you hold on to the past relationship (i.e., phone calls, "chance meetings," asking friends to share details regarding the other's life, who their dating, and their whereabouts, etc.) it merely prolongs the healing process! Constantly reaching out to your ex who rejects your every advance will only keep you at stage 1 of healing reopen the wounds every time your attempts to reconnect are rejected.

If you’re hoping to establish a friendship with your ex, then only time and space can determine if it’s attainable or worth it in the end. Remember, the two of you didn’t breakup because things were great, you break up because one of you felt it was necessary to do so. Ever thought a break could be exactly what you need to become reacquainted with yourself? Many times, we tend to lose ourselves in relationships; trading in our identity for the one that best fits with our partner at the time. In most instances, separating from a partner sparks something in you that drive you to change! The objective is to be sure the change is a good one!!

You’re opportunity for self-discovery has revealed itself to you and now, there’s nothing standing in your way. Trust, this too shall pass . . . really. You just have to P.U.S.H, pray until something happens!! You will heal, branch out, and make new connects eventually; you simply have to trust the process. And, if all else fails you can always get a puppy that will love you no matter what, wagging tail and all! 






5 comments:

lo said...

I am so glad my sister and her ex broke up! She was like a robot with him...when you mentioned self discovery, my sister has never been so in touch with who she is than she is now...they were together since she was 15 & now she's 31. She never knew what life was like with out him.
Im happy she's free!

Sarra said...

I love your P.U.S.H acronym!

Tay Robson said...

Hey ladies, thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Venaye, the fact is most women do that all the time, get lost in whomever they're dating until they breakup and the women discovers she never really knew who she was with him. I'm happy your sister is doing well and learning more about herself in the process. Good journey to her!! Sarra, P.U.S.H, is how I try to live my life and it really does work!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I sincerely appreciate them!

mixedchick39 said...

This piece is true to my heart this is what I needed to read to understand what I need to do to leave this relationship alone, the process of always trying to check in and trying to be his friend it will never work until I heal until I get over the pain and the relationship. Like you said we might not be able to even be friends. I like this piece so much I will reread this when I'm in pain and I will feel stronger as a women and I will to be able to move on with my life and find me again and the women that I know I'm.
Thanks for sharing you blog with me it has truly changed my thoughts and it has made me think within myself.

Anonymous said...

I too love your P.U.S.H acronym. Break-ups are one of the hardest things for ppl and this being said reading this blog opens up for the break-up to be assesed and observed.