"Just Add Drama?"
If someone
placed a button in the middle of an empty room marked “Just Add Drama” how many
of you, without a second thought would press the button accordingly? There’s
nothing better than a good ole “You’ll never believe what happened to me or a woe
is me” situation just ripe for brewing a big pot of attention generating drama
to get the blood pumping, right? The truth is, some of you strive so much for
attention that you’re waiting for the chance to stir up a little conflict or tragedy
in your lives for the opportunity to take center stage but, why? What is the
benefit of creating conflict, sowing discord, and/or all out chaos? For some, the attention getting stakes are as
high as being the star of your very own dramatic real life soap opera tends to
have addictive secondary benefits. What I've observed over the years in the
field of crisis navigation is that many of my clients were walking around doing
just that . . . Looking for opportunities to “insert drama” into their lives and
the lives of others while over compensating for some lack or another.
Nevertheless,
this dysfunction is not only limited to the individual’s personal affairs, yet it
tends to finds its way into the workplace environment, and/or other social
interactions this individuals may partake in as well. At first, it appears this
individual is simply having a sour run of fortune until you realize there is potentially
more at the root of their troubles; something deeper and even more disturbing
than a run of bad luck. But then, what is the motivation behind this unstable
lifestyle filled with epic drama? What I've witnessed is that there are 5
common benefits to just adding drama
into their lives. Those 5 things are:
1. Drama distracts from the current life situation or circumstances. Instead of concentrating on or
dealing with one’s own life matters it’s easier to place the focus outward as
to become distracted from acknowledging or resolving problems of which may make
them uncomfortable or, are perceived as outside of the person’s control. This
person’s primary efforts are to divert from what is happening around them.
2. It creates an exaggerated sense of importance. This individual is self-absorbed
and seeks to be center focus of the drama of which they have purposely created in
the attempt to magnify feelings of significance and the reassurance of worth; while
hoping to decrease feelings of insecurity and inadequacy with unnecessary attention-seeking
behavior.
3. Drama is familiar and comfortable. To this individual, drama and constant disruption is the norm.
In a sense, being surrounded by misery and commotion are their standard of
living whereby, this individual finds contentment and safety. Often times, this
individual has spent a large portion of their life “not getting enough
attention (most times during childhood)” from persons of significance their
lives. This type of behavior has usually been exampled throughout their life in
some form or another which this person has now taken on as a practice.
4. To play the victim. Usually this individual creates drama in order to play the victim of
its fallout. This often makes them the recipient of sympathy, compassion, or
empathy from others with little accountability for their manipulative actions. It’s
all in line with needing to be at the center of attention by any means
necessary. This individual is prone to inappropriate behavior, lying, exaggerated
poor health or other circumstances, complaining of frequent death (or near
death) in their family or the families of close friends, and/or any problem
that will place them in the position of receiving victim treatment.
5. Overconfident or Arrogant (the bully). This person believes that they are over deserving
(operates with a sense of entitlement) in most (if not all) aspects of their
life. This person wants to be seen. If they are not center stage at all times
they will design occasions to be front and center even if it requires them to
be dishonest to obtain the attention they believe they deserve. This person is
not above using bullying tactics to gain the attention as well.
Do you see
yourself in any of these personality types? If so, change is in order and that
change begins with learning to love yourself exactly as you are as well as
forgiving yourself and others for not giving you the attention you required
during whatever period of your life where you've felt neglected. Next, ask
yourself is your interpretation of events over the top and/or are you creating
an exaggerated account of the events. If the answer is yes, you may need to re-calibrate your perception.
And lastly, reach
out to others for help (e.g. Family, friends, or licensed professionals). What
may need to happen is that you connect with someone who is equipped with the
skills and knowledge to assist you with working through your problems in a way
that supports healthy and more stable responses. Living a “Just Add Drama”
lifestyle is an exhausting recipe for sure disaster of epic proportion. Remember,
no emotionally healthy individual is walking around designing a life filled
with discontent on purpose, or for no apparent reason. Being fully aware of
your needs and what it takes to get them constructively and appropriately met
is the key to regaining the balance of a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Are you creating drama while chasing some sort
of secondary gain from that kind of mayhem? Are you even aware that you’re the
one stirring the pot?
Taking a
hard look inside of yourself may be just what you need to put your attention
seeking inner child to rest. Live aware! Good journey! ~ Y. Tay Robson (L.I.F.E
with Purpose)
Click the link but, be prepared for anything! https://youtu.be/scvt1Nucoh8
